The fifth instalment of the ridiculously lucrative PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN franchise is cinematic flotsam. Actually, it’s probably more accurately jetsam because some panicked throwing overboard of everything from plot to character motivations was definitely involved in the making of this film. The opening set piece – which sees Cap’n Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp who I’m not convinced is just acting drunk anymore) riding atop a bank building  being pulled by a team of horses through winding streets – is at least entertainingly bad. The rest is an uncomfortable slog only punctuated by decent slapstick, overly optimistic fanservice and truly risible innuendo. There’s a major character death along the way as well, a death which would have surely packed more of a punch had the character not died once already this series. A while ago I said that there wasn’t a Pirates movie I disliked, that they all had something to recommend. Sadly that’s no longer true: Pirates 5 is messy, repetitive and a bit sad.