After the sickly style and horrible humanity of NIGHTCRAWLER, I thought Dan Gilroy partnered with Jake Gyllenhaal could do no wrong. And yet, VELVET BUZZSAW turns out to be a load of pretentious cobblers. Art critics can be empty and overcompensating and up themselves, you don’t say? The film apes the work of Nicolas Winding Refn and Darren Aronofski without the punk aesthetic of the former or the new age emotionality of the latter. They also throw in a bit of THE RING at the end as well seemingly just to have something happen. The only amusing bit is Gyllenhaal casting shade on the colour of a fellow art critic’s coffin. The only memorable line is Rene Russo’s “We don’t sell durable goods, we peddle perception”, which sounds good but may not actually mean anything. It’s got a bit of style, but the horror elements aren’t disturbing, the mystery isn’t interesting and it’s just not worth your time in general. SSP